Polite Conversation often escapes me!

Some of the dumbest questions I get asked when I travel include the ones like:

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Now, Ive been reading a little bit. Actually, quite a bit. What Ive been reading has to do with semantics, with language, expression and clarity. In my last blog-post, I used the word "incredible" at least a dozen times. My writing prowess was never great but, it has been even more diminished in the recent times. Writing takes a lot of effort, to do well.

Questioning also takes a lot of effort, to do well.

So, lets start with the questions. The disclaimer here is that about 99.999999% of the world does not give a crap about triathlon or triathletes :) I am really enthused by this fact and it keeps me sane. Second, the 0.000001% that do ask me profound questions and I feel the need to answer them today.

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Let me begin by commenting on the nature of triathlon. This is mostly a top-heavy sport where equipment is valued more than the sport itself :) With running, the most equipment you can buy is a geeky GPS contraption, nice nike/reebok/ clothes and expensive shoes (mostly what we get in Indian markets are outdated models, at least 3 years older than whats available in the other markets, even as close as Singapore). With triathlon, one can go really crazy. In my opinion, this sport breeds a new form of consumerism, thats why its so attractive to pen down such key phrases as "Live the dream" and have people run after this. We all love shopping, dont we? Lets now go shop for a dream, because we are too un-original to have these on our own. "The dream" is mostly to help the millions of quacks make a living, their otherwise pathetic lives would not offer them. Some even go so far as to proposing that one can "excel" on 10 hours of training a week.

The entry fee to most of these races is more than the yearly salary of many poor families in India. No, Im not a tree hugger. No, I have not spent a year working on water-sanitation whitepapers in Nepal. Ive just spent about 25 years living in the country and find no conflict in stating that this sport is just not open to the bottom-tiers. We have confused Americans running to their Asian roots, when it suits their "living the dream" exercise but, other than that, lets not kid ourselves. There is no representation in this sport. Definitely not at the top-most level.

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

Ive lived all over the world and the alarming trend to be noted here is that people gravitate towards their roots. My buddies from North Carolina ultimately ended up somewhere close to there, to be nearer to family, and so on and so forth. In the name of progress, my race in particular is very very hard on itself. We move continents to seek out fresh air and I am fully guilty of this myself. We cannot bear the conflicts back home and its easier to be a freedom-fighter, when one is not on the ground :) Thats what I noticed in all the political/activist/ rallies that I attended well before I was 18. Professors from Cambridge, talking about Indian poverty. Intellectuals with permanent addresses in Boston, empathizing with the "state of the common man". I thought it was pretty convinient. Ask them the simple question "what have you done about it? what can we do about it?"........ no answer.

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

Of course! In all of 3 days I learned to spell "infundibuliform", backwards...

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

What roads?

Oh, and speaking about "egalitarianism", a word I did not learn in those three days, let me just say that the discourse on caste and money, power and equality are very different things. I think the basic differentiator is how an individual or a group of individuals works out their opportunities and then their finances. This is why it is still possible for the tortoise to outwork the hare. It is possible but, still a lot of work! We tortoises have short feet :)

I am totally amused today! Just fabulously, rib-ticklingly amused.

Posted by It behoofs us at 3:27 PM

Actually, the times I sit down to think about the year that has passed, I get really tired!!!! I believe the first day of the year tells us a lot about the rest of the year. I was telling someone today that on the first day of 2009, I was down with the flu, stuck in a horribly rainy week. I had so much medicine in me, I could barely stay awake. At around 11pm, I woke up and did sit-ups for 10 minutes, in my room. I could barely get out bed to the floor and back in bed and back to sleep. I slept like a rhino, Jan 1st - Jan 2nd :) On Jan 2nd, I told myself, its still Jan 1st in Hawaii, I am going to go for jog. Running those 20 minutes was the HARDEST THING ive done in my life!! I was so sick, it was not funny.

This year has been a very mixed bag. Ive learned a lot. Executed about 60% of what I set out to execute with sport but 150% with other aspects of my life. This is good because hopefully 2010 will see a slightly smaller work-load. Remember the two jobs I have, its now down to just one job and sport. Good news. So, here is my report card for 2009:

Sport

I trained in the heat and at altitude this year. I think altitude is not all that its made out to be.. people just need excuses to be lazy and "Im at altitude" is a great one. I met some crazy roommates, who were no good for me. I have resolved to only ever living with serious athletes in the future. Everyone else that is a lifestyle athlete cannot appreciate the long hours and why I feel compelled to run at midnight after a long day at work (the aleternative kids, is to not run and miss the workout). I lived with a serious athlete who had her act together in most cases and made me appreciate the value of time. I met some incredibly lazy people in the latter half of my summer. I cannot understand the sense of entitlement in sport. Sport is like art, a very esoteric pursuit. Many smart men argue that there is no artist beneath the suit... that that is not possible. I think they just dont understand that sport can be as demanding as any other job, in fact a lot more so. However, it is still very esoteric. One does have to keep their feet firmly planted on the ground. Other athletes Ive met this year have only made me resolve to imitate the all-round successes. I met the incredible Canadians who housed me, took care of me and were just incredible hosts. Id like to be like one of them, Tracy! Just an incredible athlete and a very successful physiotherapist who pays her bills, on time. Yes, she has a few sponsors to help her along but, no illusions about what a lifestyle really is :)

My lifestyle is paying my bills on time, supporting my incredible team at work and wanting the best for them and being able to use all of my talents.

Work

Work has been incredibly satisfying and incredibly frustrating, all in one. However, Im an optimist and given a choice, Id say, work has been incredible! :) I met some great people, I met some not-so-great people but, people are people. I have some amazing projects lined up for 2010 and I cannot WAIT to see them bear fruit 18 months or so down the line. I have also learned to be proud of what we have achieved. If you ever visit my office, its a humble little place in the middle of the bustle and annoyance of the man next door who does bhajan practise every morning, the chowkidaar who is never late, the phone that is constantly ringing and my kids that are running around trying to practise my latest punishment exercise from Wren and Martin :) Added to this, David is an incredibly smart man and Ive learned to start listening to him, more carefully. We contrast each other perfectly at work. He thinks before he talks, I talk before I think. He usually is right about people, I am usually wrong about people. He takes on a pragmatic approach, I take on an artistic approach. But, it all works out because we both have only one true love, our bikes :) Here is to many more years of good work!!

Life

Boy, last year was rough because I lost my best friend to cancer. This year, there was a very dear brother-in-law who passed away and watching my niece and sister go through that with such strength, really took my breath away. My niece is a piece of my heart, and I wish I have half the brain, strength and grace this kid has, someday. Getting through another best-friend's health problems this year was also quite challenging. I have a tiny group of confidantes, so, I am always happy to be of help in any way, even if it just means shutting up and listening.

I also tried to catch up on 4 years of world news in two weekend, BAD IDEA! I came across the same people I had run into as a teenager and then as a young adult. There IS a lot of disparity in the world. There is absolutely no sitting on the fence about this simple fact. While population control and external affairs are not things you and me can directly affect, participation is the key to democracy. So, obviously there is that simple vote. However, what I did realize was why the activists put me off in the first place (as much as the state). We have two sides to the problem and two sets of people arguing in their loudest voices for or against this. There is a lot of criticism meted out to the middle-class... I have something intelligent to say about that.

I am a proud citizen of middle-class India. I dont shun my opportunities, I work very hard for them. I appreciate the modesty with which a lot of my life has been lead and will continue to be lead. I appreciate that no one had it easy where I come from.. and I didnt jump into that privilege and abuse it. I picked bigger challenges BECAUSE I was privileged. There is nothing wrong with this model of life. If your parents walked upto the edge of the village, you are able to walk upto the edge of new york city. Hey, no harm there. However, for activists and the state to consider us dormant door-mats is kinda silly! I have a lot of friends who DO care about the state of the state :) Theirs is a valid vote too. Why do I have a bee buzzing in my head, you ask? Well, it was that catching up on world news over two weekends :) Take this scenario -- I lived with the poorest of farmers for a few years. Of course, in the USA, this still means you have central heating and flush-down toilets and amazing games of scrabble and talk about real world issues. We are what we eat, of this I have no doubt.

Two of my friends from this time went on to start their own farm (http://www.stoneyacresfarm.net/). These kids are my age, mind you. And no, the situation for farmers in the USA is the same as here, but, these are educated people, MAKING THE CHOICE, to grow their own food and then food for others. Now, all of us dont have that easy transition to make but, here is a great data-point for a "middle-class" citizen, choosing the hard path. Farming is very difficult, dont doubt that for a second. My best friend I lost last year went to Swaziland to volunteer for the Peace Corps and has been to about every major fund-raising ride in the greater United States for AIDS. So, Im inundating you with nice examples of mid-western USA, what about Bangalore?? Sure, I have colleagues who have given up their desk jobs to start their own companies. OWNERSHIP is very important and silent form of rebellion too, right? I have friends who all moved home (from that fancy phoren place, USA) to make their lives here... how about that? Two of these clowns were from the best Aeronautical Engineering labs in Purdue (yes, Neil Armstrong went to school here, WE ROCK in this department). Last I checked, they were pretty darned middle-class too... and still live in modest houses and raise their kids with as much discipline as the next guy.

So, I say, yes, there is a lot of disparity in the world. The solution is not to scream harder about it but to make choices. A bigger challenge over a fatter paycheck. A better life where you get to visit dad every other month over being 48 hours flying time, away. Really investing in your team, getting them up to speed, making sure they know that they have opportunities and that they take those opportunities...

As the wiley and more articulate Maya Angelou would say "Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'"

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grew up believing that love conquers all! :) Be it the Physics homework or the awesome boy in the neighborhood who wanted to be a doctor! So, it was a hard pill to swallow when I read about the likes of Romeo D'allaire, Raphael Lemkin and Bill Proxmire. More intelligent updates soon!

Ive been re-visiting some of my old stomping grounds. Ive never believed in Social "service" but, I have believed in "participation". I am so caught up living my life that I had no time to ponder deeply about the thousand things that are wrong with the world... I dont like the propoganda theorists and the activists that try to take on the burden of the world on their cosmopolitan shoulders. Yes, we are a classist society. Instead of feeling bad about it, maybe we could consider getting our lives right first... thats what I told myself 4 years ago and Ive had mixed success... Everyone lives with their own contradictions... and that is fine :) Today, Im suddenly optimistic about my place in the big picture.

Here are some (outdated) thoughts on a yuppie (me) trying to understand the big-picture... http://parantu.blogspot.com/

Watch this space.

I always wonder what would have happened if Maggie Fitzgerald had met the love of her life?!!! The unforgiving road of scraping dishes mightve taken a slight detour..... food for thought on this MONDAY morning :)

My friend G and I went on a run today. Now, G is a philosopher and a prophet in my life. I depend on his wisely wisdomacious wileyness to substitute for my own unwisely, unsubstantiated under-IQ........... He keeps telling me I am an outlier and he used this term to describe someone else today. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I loathe "reading" for the sake of sounding "intellectual". Till age 40, I want to create my own story, then "read" what the intellectuals have to say! So, I read as few books as I have to, just to keep my adventures original.... Even with this reduced reading, I average more than a dozen books a year so, Im a nerd, 100% Some of my favourite authors include Kerouac, Steinbeck, Krakauer, Frankl and Anita Desai. Whats-her-name arundathi and arvind adiga are also awesome but a bit too dark for my sunshine-lovin' soul......

Back to G and I, he told me about this book by Malcolm Gladwell (actually, the bloke has written several books... not that I have read any of them, remember, I dont do coffee-shop conversations on pop culture, books and shit, I make my own road... at least, thats what I tell my snobbish self)... but, G was persistant...

So, run to the bookstore I did and bought this book "Outliers"...

Holy Shit! I did not put it down the whole time... I was reading this other book a few summers ago called "Pudd'nhead Wilson" which is one of the lesser known books by Mark Twain... Its a really interesting book.. out of the commercial successes of Huck Finn or Tom Sawyer labels and addresses a lot of issues around those that were considered the "colored's" or the illegitimate children of slaves.

In the prologue for the book "A Jamaican Story" the author talks about his own heritage........... I was a little disappointed because I take the skeptics view that most authors come from a background of self-promotion but, I read it anyway and looked him up... This chap is very intelligent and not a disappointment AT ALL!!!!

In fact, his recent strife with one of the contributing "intellects" of the Pioneer fund totally sealed my opinion that this book is an all time BEST SELLER! Back in 2000, when I was still younger and still foolish-er, I took a graduate class in Psychology (yes, I had to be the best and show off with my varied classes). I remember writing a paper on a crazy subject called "the bell curve"....... I will tell you about this after a few months............ but believe you me, Malcolm Gladwell ROCKS! This book is an all-time-hit on my list. I dont plan on parting with it any time soon..........