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Pavlovian

Pavlovian

Today, I decided to try an old cap on for size. It was less to protect my head than to figure out if it still fit me, if I liked how I felt wearing it, etc. etc. I had taken a photo in this same cap many years ago, different nose-ring, before our baby, when I had come home from a run. We have a total of five caps in the house so, it was easy to find and a pleasure to try on. Different¬†nose-ring, same cap, same girl, different day. I was thinking about New Year’s resolutions (being that it seems anti-social to NOT have any) and I have some simple ones –

  1. Wear socks on all my runs and rides.
  2. Work with people that inspire me and try old caps at odd times, sometimes in that order =)
  3. Keep it simple – it beats getting bogged down!

I think three resolutions are tough enough, let us see how we fare. I have realized that I am very Pavlovian about possession(s). I value few material things but the ones I do value, I associate with a lot of memories, specially clothes. I remember the shoes I wore on a particularly snowy run in New Zealand once. I remember this cap all too well. I remember the jeans I wore to work for five years, bought at a Salvation Army store second-hand, wearing the same jeans to the hospital and walking out in the same jeans after. I remember some of my ear-rings. I remember my nose-rings, and a little girl who exclaimed “Mommy, she has a flower on her nose!”. I remember pens and note-books and people that gave them to me. I remember some sorry shoe-laces. I don’t want to say I could ever be totally detached from material things… because I am not. I do want to say that on Lohri, looking at my husband recall old songs, I value memories a lot more than things and if things bring back those memories then I value those things. These are my greatest possessions today, an uplifting song on a CD that I can no longer play without digging out my oldest laptop with a CD drive, remembering my favourite trees and all the sneakers that I dont have the heart to throw away and the hope of being the best version of myself for the love of those around me, as we step into a brand new year.

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